Our Redeemer
Lutheran Church
Lexington, Kentucky

A Biblical Primer on Divorce
According to Christ's teaching, marriage is a very sacred union which is why He says, "What God has joined together, let no one separate" (Mark 10:9). According to Biblical teaching divorce is absolutely wrong, contrary to God's will. But Scripture does give two exceptions to this rule (and only two): (1) sexual infidelity; and (2) physical desertion. If either of these things have happened then the wronged spouse can procure a divorce without sin.

SEXUAL INFIDELITY

But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery (Matthew 5:32).

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery (Matthew 19:9).

Our Lord states this from the woman's perspective in Mark's Gospel:

Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery (Mark 10:11-12).

DESERTION

What is desertion? Though in modern times this has been stretched to include everything imaginable, Scripture means something very specific by desertion. It means an unbelieving spouse physically leaving the marriage and refusing to be married anymore.

To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace (1 Corinthians 7:12-15).

Other than these words in 1 Corinthians, there is nothing else in Scripture that speaks to desertion.

CHRIST'S WORDS ABOUT ADULTERY

According to Christ's words in Matthew 5 and 19 and Mark 10 (quoted above), anyone who divorces one's spouse for any other reason than sexual infidelity puts both spouses in danger of being in an adulterous situation.

Matthew 5: anyone who marries a wrongly divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 19: any man who wrongly divorces his wife and remarries commits adultery.
Mark 10: any woman who wrongly divorces her husband and remarries commits adultery.

These words strike our ears as strange until we remember that the couple that divorce for any other reason than sexual infidelity or desertion are still married in God's sight. Though human courts have granted the divorce to the couple (and they do so for many trivial reasons) they are still a sacred union in the sight of God. Therefore, when they remarry, still being married to their previous spouse in God's sight, they are entering into an adulterous situation. And all parties to this adulterous situation stand guilty of adultery in God's sight: the husband, the wife, and the ones who marry them.

Ultimately, if after every effort, the couple cannot reconcile, and divorce is chosen, this is tragic. But far worse is if one or both of the divorced couple remarries. For this would place them in an adulterous relationship. Scripture puts it this way:

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).

The two options open are stated plainly in this passage: (1) remain unmarried or (2) be reconciled to your husband [spouse]. But to remarry is NOT an option and never can be for the one who divorces for a non-Biblical reason.

To all those who are seriously considering a sinful divorce, who have given up hope that the marriage can ever be saved, answer me this: If you have faith that God can save your eternal soul through Jesus Christ, don't you also have faith that He can save your marriage and supply whatever is lacking? He can do it!

I am fully aware that the one seeking divorce can easily find many others who will support what they want to do. We can always find people to approve of what we do (even if it's wrong). But in this primer I have passed on to you what God says about divorce. I hope and pray that His voice prevails.

Pastor Richard Bucher